Dog Jokes


 What did one flea say to the other?
 Should we walk or take a dog?

What type of markets do dogs avoid?
 Flea markets!

Why is a tree like a big dog?
They both have lot of bark!

What are caterpillars afraid of?
Doger-pillars!

What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
 Well, doggone!

How can you know if you have a stupid dog?
It chases parked cars! 

When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it's a greyhound!

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than it's bite!

What is a dogs favorite flower?
Anything in your garden!

 What's a dog favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
That hit the spots!

What do you call young dogs who play in the snow?
Slush puppies!

Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it's too hard to run in squares!

What is the only kind of dog you can eat?
 A hot dog!

What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?
A sausage dog!

What do you do if your dog eats your pen?
Use a pencil instead!

What animal keeps the best time?
A watch dog!

What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
Dingo Starr!

Why do you get if you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog!

What do you call a black Alaskan dog?
A dusky husky!

What do you call a great dog detective?
Sherlock Bones!

What is a dog's favorite sport? 
Formula 1 drooling! 

What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk? 
A Great Dane out! 

What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!

 What do you call an alcoholic dog?
A whino!

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?
When the door is open!

Why don't dogs make good dancers?
 Because they have two left feet!

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