Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
In a hog cabin!
What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
A clotheshorse!
What do you get if you all sit under a cow?
A pat on the head!
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper!
What do you call a pig that took a plane?
Swine flu!
What kind of doctor treats ducks?
A quack!
Why do pigs never recover from illness?
Because you have to kill them before you cure them!
What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving?
A road hog!
What do you call sheep that live together?
Pen friends!
What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate?
Afer ewe!
Why did the ram fall over the cliff?
He didn't see the ewe turn!
What do cows like to dance to?
Any kind of moosic you like!
Where do sheep get shorn?
At the baa baas!
What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?
A bullfrog!
What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?
An egg!
What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?
Udder nonsense!
What happens when geese land in a volcano?
They cook their own gooses!
What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
Streaky bacon!
What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis!
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment!
What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
Use a cowculator!
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires!
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What is a pigs favorite ballet?
Swine Lake!
What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?
Pooched eggs!
How do you stop a rooster crowing on Sunday?
Eat him on Saturday!
Why did the foal cough?
Because he was a little horse!
What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour?
Leave it inside the cow!
Where do milkshakes come from?
Excited cows!
What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
'Dad, dad, look what mama-laid'!
What would happen if bulls could fly?
You would have to carry an umbrella all the time and beef would go up!
What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud?
A sheep that's under the weather!
Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being amoosed!
What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'?
A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons!
What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?
A groundhog!
How do you take a pig to hospital?
By hambulance!
What do you call a joke book for chickens?
A yolk book!
Who tells chicken jokes?
Comedihens!
What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes?
A swine gut!
Why did the chicken cross the road at the fairground?
To get to the other side!
What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?
'When I fall in love it will be for heifer'!
Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air?
Because eggs were going up!
What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?
A cloud!
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion!
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