What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant!
What does a doctor give an elephant who's going to be sick?
Plenty of room!
What's big and grey and protects you from the rain?
An umbrellaphant!
What do you do with a green elephant?
Wait till it ripens!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Lost!
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
They take too long to iron!
What is gray and blue and very big?
An elephant holding it's breath!
What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch?
Time to get a new watch!
How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
When your nose touches the ceiling!
What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet!
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why did the elephant wear green sneakers?
Her red ones were in the wash!
What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus?
The police made him bring it back!
Why do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck!
How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
There are footprints in the butter.
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
Take all the matches out first!
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!
Why doesn't the elephant use a computer?
Because it is afraid of the mouse!
Elephant Keeper: "My Elephant isn't well, do you know a good animal doctor?
" Zoo Keeper: "No, all the doctors I know are people!"
Why do elephants scratch themselves?
Because they're the only ones who know where they itch!
Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate.
What would you do if an elephant sat in front of you at a movie?
Miss most of the film.
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn!
Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?
Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box!
How do you know that peanuts are fattening?
Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
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